I'm Pregnant...Now What?

with our phenomenal doula and childbirth educator, Vera

Thinking back to when I was pregnant with my first baby, there were many things that I did not know that I might have benefited from knowing, or maybe I had heard it but didn’t take the advice. I knew enough to have my health checked out, I started taking a multivitamin, and I booked my partner and I into a childbirth course. 

I saw my family doctor until a midwife was available to take us on (which didn’t happen until I was about 7 months pregnant). I didn’t know very much at the time about what was available for mind and body prep, I wasn’t a doula, I had never heard of a lactation consultant and certainly, no one was talking to me at the time about pelvic floor physiotherapy and all the many things that are a bit more mainstream in 2025.

Now that I do know a few more things about the process of birth, here is what I would say to my younger self if I could send her a message:

• Ask for and allow yourself to receive joy in as many places and spaces of every single day of your pregnancy. Find reasons to laugh. Surround yourself with people who lift your spirits and help you feel great. Create ways to limit time with people who raise your anxiety and fear. Build safe spaces to be around those you cannot limit your time from. Listen to birth stories that are like the one you want to have, not the ones that scare you. What are you telling yourself? Use affirmations to keep redirecting your down thoughts to up thoughts. Don’t worry so much! 

• Move your body more! Stretch, dance, lunge, squat, take the stairs, knead bread, wash windows! [AND THEN TAKE NAPS TOO, LOTS OF NAPS]. It’s good to stay active. Labour can be a tough marathon and one doesn’t usually train for a marathon with comfort food on the recliner all day. Rest is important, but so is getting tired first. Yes, you are making a WHOLE baby so respect, and maintain your body health as a good investment for the future event (a.k.a. birth). BONUS is that your body movement encourages the baby to have movement too, and that will also be presenting the best possible space for baby to get into an optimal position for birth. This leads to a shorter labour. I mean, hopefully. 

• Accept help from others when the baby arrives, and have it be help for YOU. If your home is tidy, laundry clean, your belly is full of nutritious food, and you have several naps throughout the day and night - then you have everything you need to focus on your baby. So take your clothes off and be naked with your baby all day long, and tell the grandmothers that there will be lots of time for baby snuggles later. In the beginning, the baby will help you feel calmer and regulate your body for faster recovery. Let yourself hold and and snuggle your baby a lot a lot a lot. Don’t be so quick to show off your baby at social events, the rest in the first 6 weeks is a sacred time. Let people take care of you, ask for more help even. Indulge in as much rest and care as you can. It will help the breast milk too. Use all your benefits towards caring for your body and recovery - chiro, pelvic floor physio, yoga groups for new mothers! Take sweet care of yourself in the postpartum time. 

Make it fun, yes LABOUR CAN BE FUN. Parts of it at least? Take more pictures. Labour is a transformative event, as is becoming a parent. Yes, it’s a big deal and yes, you can do this. With a little help, you might even do it more than once. 

Vera Kevic, Childbirth Educator and Doula